Today, in our modern world, being so-called digitally social and social media is the latest fad. From Facebook to Instagram, your favorite no-name F league celebrity and self-proclaimed esoteric online master has a page with 100,000 followers.

These people are what you might call “climbing the social ladder” and some would go so far to say that they are “social media rock stars”.

The Romans actually had a word for a “social climber” who would advance the ranks of society by getting dinner invitations from important persons.

The Roman word for these people is “parasitus.”

The meaning of, relating to, or being a parasite: such as living on another organism in parasitism. Sucking people’s life energy to sustain your own.

In our modern fake social age, being a social climber would be akin to posting narcissistic pre-planned pictures of yourself or posting 3-10 quotes a day on on Facebook or Instagram to get (parasitus) likes and followers.

I have to admit, I have also been a parasitus.

I have fallen bait, hook and sinker into the blood-sucking online dark underworld of social media hell myself.

I’m guilty of ignorantly trying to fit in the crowd of beautiful people and being an esoteric douchebag.

I have willfully committed the 9 deadly social media sins of greed, gluttony, lust, envy, sloth, wrath, pride, fornication, and narcissism. All for likes and followers!

I AM a parasitus sinner…

I AM an American Liar.

Forgive me my social media sins, O Lord; forgive me the sins of my youth and the parasitus sins of mine social media age, the sins of my wretched soul and the sins of my body, my secret and my whispering sins, the sins I have done to please parasitus myself and the sins I have done to please the parasitus of others.

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